Monday, November 17, 2014

The candle ( 3 stage poem)

                                                    Poem 1

                                          strong, brave, a war veteran
                                            this is what this candle is.
                                       he had many achievements under his belt
                                            Over the years though he weakened
                                              the light above his head dimmed
                                              till one day you could barely see it
                                      the candles family knew that his time was coming to an end
                                                  when one day no one saw his light
                    with tearful eyes the family buried the candle in the grave yard of all candles
                                                            "the trash can"
                                         they threw matches and lighters while buring him.
                                           even after his death no one forgot about the candle
                                          he had great candles and candles that he left behind.
                                     all the candles miss him dearly but they couldnt bring him back
                                                       with sad eyes they healed their wax hearts
                                                           until the day they didnt cry
                                                     then finally did their light shine once more.


Revision: I decided to do stanzas in the next poem because it needed to be broken apart.

                                                    Poem 2
                                     strong, brave, a war veteran
                                        this is what this candle is
                             he had many achievements under his belt.

                            over the years though he weakened
                            the light above his head dimmed
                               till one day you could barely see it
                                     the candle's family knew,
                                   his time was coming to an end.

                                 one day no one saw his light
                                 with tearful eyes the family buried
                                     the candle in the graveyard,
                                                  of all candles
                                                       "the trash can"
                            they threw matches and lighters were buried with him

                            even after his death no one forgot about the candle
                          he had great candles and candles he left behind

                             all the candles miss him dearly
                                       but they couldn't bring him back
                                   with sad eyes they healed their wax hearts
                                             until the day they didnt cry
                                          and then finally did their light shine.
revision: i decided to change some of the words to make it sound better

                                                       poem 3
                                       strong, brave, a war hero
                                         this is what the candle is
                                     awards started piling up

                                               years passed by,
                         his light that once shined bright, now barely visable
                                     the candle's family knew,
                                   his time was coming to an end.

                         one day his light disappeared
                           with tearful eyes, the family buried him,
                      the grave yard of all candles, "the trash can"
                               they buried him with lighters and matches.
                                things that he absolutely adored.

                                          after the death,
                   no one forgot about the candle
                      he had great candles and candles
                                   sadly left behind

                            all the candles miss him dearly,
                          but they couldn't bring him back
                              their wax hearts healed overtime
                               until the day they didn't cry
                        finally their light shined brighter than ever.

revision: i decided to make the poem more vague so it wouldnt be about one particular thing.
                                                 Poem 4
                                                the candle
                                         full of light and happiness
                                            deep wounds healed

                                             years passed by,
                                    growing smaller every year
                                                   light dulled
                                             growing small

                               the candle was barely visible
                                           limited days left
                               one day darkness encased him

                                            candles left behind
                                                  life must go on
                                                      a new candle

                                      fresh wax, tall ever
                                 ready for life to  begin
                                       no one ever forgot
                                         the candle though.

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