The impossible Task: self deprecation

                                               

                I love to sing, but somehow singing just doesn’t love me back as much as I would want it to. I sing and sing, but i have the feeling the people i sing to are lying. they always have this forced smile on their face and always say i was amazing. My music teacher in sixth grade, who was also the chorus teacher at the time, believed that everyone could sing. She once had me stay after school so she could help me. Well… it didn’t go well, but even though she knew I couldn’t sing, she still insisted that I shouldn’t give up. She always lied to me and said I sound beautiful when I really know that I sound like a dying cow. Then there was that awful day when she decided for me to join chorus. I had no say in the matter. When I was standing there with all these other kids I was thinking, Yeah right and I’m supposed to be good as these prodigy geniuses who probably sing in their sleep to practice. Yeah I definitely fit in...Not. That was one of the issues, the other one was I couldn’t quite remember the words to the songs. So, I usually end up pretending that I knew them. After practice I would  go up to one of the geniuses and ask them. They would say it wicked fast and act like, Yeah, I know it so you should know it too. They must think im stupid, something which I probably am. A couple of years ago when the old music teacher retired, I just stopped going to practice. They never ran after me asking what happened, probably because no one cared. They were probably overjoyed saying, yes, the stupid tone deaf girl finally gave up. Finally! singing was never my forte, but sometimes you dont know your bad at something until you see it for yourself. I for one am not a perfect girl, but in my years I’ve learned one important thing in life. If you stink at something, don’t try to overcome being awful because no matter what, you can never try to fix your failures. you can try and try but you will never achieve that goal you want to so badly achieve. its just not going to happen. Just stick to things your good at and you will never have to feel embaressed about your talent. Do things your good at not things that you stink at.